Fear~The Artist Formerly Known as Perfectionism

4/29/13

So I think I speak for many people when I say that I can be totally paralyzed by perfection. Really. I get so focused on doing things perfectly that I either don’t start, I don’t finish, or I judge myself harshly and do it anyway all the while sure that it could be so much better.

I’ve realized that I have secretly held my perfectionism in high regard. I’ve had enough therapy to know that perfection is impossible and totally not necessary…for everyone else.  🙂 But alone in my thoughts I convince myself that if I just work hard enough, sacrifice enough, judge enough…I’ll get there and the perfection will be fulfilling and fantastic! But the road to feeling fantastic is not paved through the valley of judgement. And the road to perfection is quite honestly an illusion.

Let’s try a new approach, shall we?

As I grow and evolve, I am learning that there are two basic principles governing this life: Fear and Love. When I look at what it takes to be a perfectionist it really has fear written all over it. Fear of what? For me it’s the fear of not being/doing/having enough. Enough time, enough money, enough satisfaction, enough. And this my sweet friends smacks of ego. Ego is that in us which leaves us feeling separate from everyone else. Love is what connects us.

Love is that which reminds me that this life is full of magic, synchronicity, imagination. Yes I will be challenged because contrast provides clues about what we really want. Contrast let’s us know what is really important to us by showing us what we don’t want. But we are not meant to stay in the contrast. We are meant to learn from it and then commit to what connects us with Love once again. Oh how I am in the space where I want to commit to Love again! Aren’t you?!

Going forward, I am going to continue to let my ego know that I recognize my connection to the collective. This immediately disarms the fear. The separation from my ego begets the connection to the collective/the divine/Love. 

Ego, you and I are going to be spending a lot less time together so I can get to know Love much, much better.

Heidi

 

PS: I’d like it to be known that I only revised this post a few times before posting it and I feel pretty good about it. Baby steps… 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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